Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Okay, so.  TWH & I went to the blood drive at TB's school tonight.  We get there and (thankfully) there was almost NO line. We waited for a few minutes then went back to answer all the standard questions before getting our blood taken. Now, as I'm sitting there within earshot of TWH, and the nice nurse lady is asking me all the prostitute & bisexual partner questions, all I could think about was "I wonder how many folks answer these questions with a 'Yes' where their spouse can hear them then get the ever loving shit beaten out of them??" Then came the thought "I bet it would be straight-up Jerry Springer in this cafeteria if that happened. then they would shut the cafeteria down until the crime scene clean up was done & I'd have to make TB a lunch every day. THAT would suck because he hates sandwiches."  Anyways, I answered all the questions and sat down next to TWH to get my arm poked & my blood sucked out.  We opted to give just red blood cells instead of whole blood. (I say WE. What I mean is, I yelled over to TWH "Are you doing that??" and he said "Yes" so I did it too.) I learned three things about giving red blood cells:

1) It takes approximately FOREVER to give red blood cells. They separate your red blood cells from your plasma then give you your plasma BACK. This takes time. They said ten minutes more. Ten. Minutes. My. Ass.

2) When they give you your plasma back, it's room temperature. Around here (South Louisiana, Hell Adjacent) room temperature is 70-75 degrees. Or less. Considerably LESS than your average body temperature. You. Will. Freeze.  By the time I was done, my teeth were chattering so hard, I was afraid I was going to crack one.

3) For the love of God, EAT SOMETHING. This should go without saying, but I forgot I was donating blood and I just ate a salad for lunch. I remembered to stick some cookies in my purse because a friend of ours DID pass out last year. I just refused to eat them because I was afraid I'd ruin my dinner. The drive-thru, no veggies anywhere, fried chicken strips & fries dinner. I don't know what in the hell I was thinking. Anyways, I look at TWH about halfway through my bloodletting and say "My face feels funny" which is a sign of great distress in our house. (It's a TB-ism that resulted in an ambulance ride to the ER & another story). TWH called the nurse lady who reclined me and brought me peanut butter crackers and an ice pack.  I ate the pb crackers, which did NOT ruin my dinner, and felt infinitely better.  I finished and TWH escorted me to the car so we could go home.  I walked all the way to the car on my own two feet and didn't so much as trip. However, I was so fuzzy headed that this post took two tries to write

No good deed goes unpunished.

P.S. I know I should be writing about Flat Gwenyth and our trip to Montana but I have a GAZILLION pictures and absolutely no idea where to start. I'll get there, just not right now.

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