Tuesday, September 25, 2012

And So It Begins (OR My Dowwnward Spiral Into Geezerdom)

Okay, so.  I'm going to be 41 on Sunday.  My eyesight is shit, my joints are starting to ache, and underneath all this color, my hair is mostly white.

And yesterday, I saw my first "Specialist".  I realize I've seen specialists before. My Gynecologist, the doctor who reconstructed my ACL, those are specialists I sought out of necessity.  This is the first specialist I've sought out because of an intermittent problem.  Not something immediate, but maybe becoming a bigger problem.

Yesterday, I saw a Urologist.

Yep, it seems that some of my parts are starting to rebel.  Or, as the nice Doctor put it, "These things happen as you get older. And I hate to tell you, they're only going to get worse."  He was just a little ray of fucking sunshine, that one.  Also, he DIDN'T hate to tell me. He had a big ol' shit eating grin on his face when he said that.

He basically informed me that because I was "Pre-Menopausal" (lying Bastid) I would have more & more difficulties of the UTI kind and that unless I did my exercises that the two, count 'em TWO full-bladder-sneezed-on-my-way-to-the-bathroom incidents that necessitated a wardrobe change would also happen more frequently.  Fan-Freaking-TASTIC!!

THEN he said the thing that I ALMOST could have kicked his ass over: "Yeah, you ladies have it really rough as you get older with all your parts. That's just proof positive to me that God is a Man".  Really Mr. Doctor Man??  No words of comfort, no magical pill, just "Yep, you're screwed, you're gonna get even more screwed (but not in the good, fun way), aaaaaaannnnnnnddddd I'm gonna use this so solidify in my mind that I'm genetically the more superior of the species"

Rotten Braggart Asshole.

I go back to see him in 6 months.

12 comments:

  1. Kick the Bastid in his balls and see how superior he feels. I am embarrassed for my gender's representative in him.

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    1. Scott, Darlin' I kinda felt sorry for the Male race too.

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  2. 1. Find a female Doctor STAT! They know exactly what is going on.

    2. Don't go to a male Doctor for female parts problems. They don't know nothing about living with our parts.

    Scott will kick him in the underballs for you because Scott is a real gentleman like that.

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    Replies
    1. I'm gonna call Monday & see what can be done about that. I'd rather have someone who's a little more sympathetic.

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  3. I'm with SpudStud and JulieU - Kick him in the balls and then find yourself a female doc asap! What a fucker.

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    Replies
    1. Sadly, I think he thought he was being funny. Finding a female doc is priority numero uno!!

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  4. Humiliation: Being so violently ill that you CANNOT make it to the bathroom to throw up but you CAN make it to the kitchen sink....and then involuntarily pee your pants from the force of your retching.....

    Perspective. Now you have it. :)

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  5. Replies
    1. I'm guessing anatomy wasn't his strongest subject...

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  6. Ugh, stay far away from that guy as possible. Unless you *want* to slip into a deep depression again in 6 months.....

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    Replies
    1. I think I'll pass on the deep depression. From now on, my Lady Bits are gonna get discussed with a Lady Doc!!

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