I Am a Bad Example

Okay, so. This weekend we went up to North Mississippi for Miss A's Sixteenth Birthday Party. Of course, there were BOYS there. Oh how I miss the days of Barbie birthday parties where all the little girls came in their little dresses. They were so much easier.
But I digress. Most of the boys there were part of a COUPLE. Fine, whatever. How bad can it be?? Right??
Stop snickering at my ignorance please.
Oh. Dear. Lawd!!  Who told these children it was okay to hang all over each other like a cheap sweater??  Every time we stood in line for something, they were pressed up against one another like they were STUCK THAT WAY!! Jebus. Something had to be done.
I finally go up to the group and announce "Alright. We're about to go all Old School Catholic Dance here. Leave Room for The Holy Ghost."  Of course, they listened and jumped a respectful distance apart....  NOT.
They did what teens do. They argued. Even TB who, as far as I know, doesn't even HAVE a girlfriend yet decided to join the fray.  I, of course, did what every good parent would do. I explained our stand on the issue.  "Look. Hanging all over each other is just TACKY. You look low class. You're together, great. You wanna hold hands, great. You wanna act like someone stuck your privates together with glue. Not. Great."  Then I decided to give them a visual. "How would it be if I ran over to Dad and was all (insert squinchy faced air grabby bump & grind here)". They were all mortified. Poor Miss A.  She looked at all her friends and said "Sooooo...  You met my Mom...."
It. Worked. Like. A. Charm.   For the rest of the night, whenever I saw two kids look like they were about to go all PDA I'd yell "Do you need to see exhibit A again??". They'd jump like someone poured cold water all over them.
This just goes to prove, you can listen to me the FIRST time, or I can go that ONE step further to make my point. I'm obviously willing to.

And Then The Boy Said "Shit"

Okay, so.  This afternoon I had to drive to Jackson, MS to pick up Miss A.  As we were heading back to the interstate, we passed a horse trailer with an honest-to-God CAMEL in it.  I immediately jumped on Twitter and posted "Jackson, Mississippi. Where you can see a guy pulling a horse trailer with a CAMEL in it. I am NOT making this shit up...". Let's face it, it's not everyday you see a camel outside a zoo.  Now, recently, TB created a Twitter account and started following me. He saw my post and read it ALOUD. Verbatim.  TWH & I began laughing like crazy. Mostly because TB swore. TB is vehemently opposed to swearing. He tells me this often as he chastises me about my language.  TB was mortified. He SWEARS he said SHUT.  I of course, jumped on twitter to tell everyone my son said "Shit".  Then to tell everyone he was mortified and SWORE he said SHUT.  Then he saw the Tweets about the language "snafu" and was DOUBLY mortified.  He usually begs to be Tweeted about. I didn't realize he wanted to approve the Tweets about him first.  Little freakin' diva.

I'm Amazed

Okay so. I don't brag about my kids on here much. I don't brag about my kids nearly enough. I don't want to be THAT MOM. Having said that, I'm amazed at their artistic talents.  Miss A is 15 and her talents fall into the visual arts. She can draw. She can work with colored paper & make pictures (I have no idea what that's called) and she can even make art with FOOD.  Here's a sample of my beautiful girl's work:



It's different colored tissue paper and maybe some construction paper. It went up immediately in my bedroom so I can see it every morning. I also have a massive collection of things drawn by Miss A in a box. There's just not enough wall space...

TB is 12 and has his own talents. He can draw a little but his gift lies in his words. He is a storyteller, and obviously, a poet. Here's something he did for a school assignment:

 The poem is entitled "I Am From"

I am from the cassette player with my hand inside of it
the soft fur of my stuffed monkey
and the slight feeling of claustrophobia in my pillow fort
From wiffle ball in the backyard
I am from my first bike, the unexpected meeting with the ground on my first turn
From scars made by my cousins steel toed boots
I am from crepe myrtle and the stab of stickers in my bare feet
and the sweet nectar of honeysuckle
I am from the occasional trip to Minden
to visit Grandma and Grandpa
I am from hot bacon and boudin
and the steaming taste of melted chocolate in waffles
I am from "No No" and "Catch"
I am from "T is for tookie and tookie is for me"
and "I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids"
I am from the little red locker on top of my dresser that holds all my trinkets
I am from the south, the Gulf, the Mississippi River, and the tallest state capitol
I am from home

I am so lucky to be the caretaker of these two Smart, Funny, Wise, Beautiful children.  I almost never feel worthy.  They love me anyway.

I. Am. Amazed.