Yep. I'm THAT Mom.

Okay, so. I was just looking at my FB feed and I saw where my friend Marti posted the harrowing total she shelled out for school supplies for her 2 kids.  In the comment section, someone mentioned all the "Community" supplies you have to buy these days.  Wipes, I get. Kleenex, I get. Germ-X I will supply for the classroom by the GALLON.  The classroom is gonna go through those in no time flat and they're not cheap.  I'll happily send some around the first of the year just to help teachers replenish. God knows they have to buy enough crap for their classrooms out of their own pockets.  I have no problem helping with those expenses.

Having said that, when you ask me to buy 3 blue pocket folders, 3 red pocket folders, and 3 purple pocket folders and NOT put my kids mane on ANY of them??  I'm just gonna have to ignore your request, take my fattie Sharpie marker, and write TB's name right smack in the MIDDLE of every damn folder. I write it in the middle so the teacher can't cover his name with a label with some other kids name.  I'm sorry, but I bought my kid the GOOD, will-hold-up-all-year-a-dollar-a-pop folders. Why in the HELL would I want to send those to school just so they can go in the "Community" pile so some other kid can walk around with them and my kid can come home with the fall-apart-in-a-week-bought-for-a-quarter folders??  Not gonna happen.  Sorry Teachers.  I bought the awesome folders. My kid's gonna GET the awesome folders.

I'll buy some Ziploc bags to make up for it. M'kay??

Running Shorts, How I Loathe Thee

Okay, so.  I have come to hate, hate, HATE the running shorts as a style thing.

If you ARE NOT RUNNING, then WHY are you wearing RUNNING SHORTS??

If it's obvious that you DO NOT RUN, then WHY are you wearing RUNNING SHORTS??

They look stupid with your flip flops.

They look stupid with your Sperrys

They look stupid with (hand to God, I HAVE seen this) your Uggs.

Then again, Uggs make EVERYTHING look stupid.

Just go get a pair of REAL, non-elastic waistbanded, button & zipper shorts already.

Quit looking like a jackass.

Thank you,

MBM

WTF Wednesday (A Rant)

Okay, so.  I've mentioned before that I live in South Louisiana.  Recently, (as in the last year or so) we've had some major interstate construction going on.  As the construction has continued, the accidents have gotten worse. They are now happening at 1-2 times a week. Always during rush hour (morning & evening). They almost always involve 18 wheelers. They almost always shut down the ENTIRE interstate. It's a fucking nightmare.
A few weeks ago, my friend Missy commented on FB about how big a pain in the ass these accidents & their frequency were becoming. I commented that these 18 wheeler drivers had to pass a test so presumably they were literate & therefore able to read the big, flashing signs warning them that lane shifts and lower speed zones were ahead and act accordingly.
I was SO wrong.
Fun fact: The driving test can and will be administered to you in ANY LANGUAGE YOU REQUEST. I find this somewhat mind boggling because if you can't speak or read English, how in the HELL are you going to read a sign telling you important shit like Slow. The. Fuck. Down??  Seriously?!?!  These guys are driving big assed trucks that weigh TONS upon TONS, yakking on their cell phones, whizzing down the interstate, and very possibly cant speak or read  English. What kind of Dumbfuckery is THAT!?!!?
Way to go DMV. Another win for you guys!!
W.T.F??