Sunday, December 11, 2011


Okay, so. TWH and I go into Walgreen's to get me some more allergy medicine (because we live in South LA and I'm allergic to everything).  I had wandered down the paper goods aisle to see if they had some cutesy Christmas Ziploc bags when I looked up and over a couple of aisles. THEN I SAW IT.  The object I had been coveting in other people's windows for YEARS.  The Leg Lamp.  Now in all honestly, I first saw this little 20 inch tall version and as I was gasping and pointing, I looked to the right and saw the Leg Lamp Motherlode!!  3 feet of beautiful, fishnet clad, stiletto wearing, leg shaped beauty.  I run over to the aisle in awe and wonderment telling TWH "I NEED IT".  TWH looked around for one that was not on display, doesn't see a box and declares "Well, that's the only one. I guess you don't need it after all".  I had other ideas. That lamp was going home with me, dammit.  The following are the conversations between me, TWH, the poor employee I roped into my quest, and (I think) the store manager:

Me: They have the DISPLAY ONE. I can buy THAT ONE!!
TWH: They won't sell you that.
Me: The hell they won't.

At this point, I walk over to a checkout counter where I wait (im) patiently for the elderly woman in front of me to finish her transaction. When she (finally) leaves, I walk up to the counter.

Me: I need that leg lamp. The BIG ONE!!  I NEED IT!!
Now, at this point, I'm shaking like a small dog who needs to be sedated.
Checker Guy: (Laughs-maybe nervously) Okay, let me see if I can find a box for you and get it down

He wanders (runs) off to the back while I go to stand guard over my lamp because at this point some guy who can't REALLY love this lamp the way I can is eyeballing it and I had to go run him off.

TWH: Is there even a price tag for it. (Looks around) Oh my GOD!! The LITTLE one is 30 DOLLARS??  How much is the big one gonna cost??
TWH: We're taking this home no matter how much it costs aren't we??
Me: Duh

Checker Guy comes back with a ladder. He climbs up to the top shelf where my lamp lives. He unplugs it and climbs down.  I show great self-restraint by not snatching it from him, clutching it to my chest, and whispering "My Precious" while stroking it lovingly.

Checker Guy: It doesn't have a price tag OR a box but since it's a display item, we can probably give you a discount.
Me: (To TWH) See, we're getting a discount.

We go to the photo counter with Checker Guy. He looks it up, than names a 3 digit price that makes TWH sigh in resignation as he swipes the card. I am doing a happy dance and giggling like a maniac. I just won the Christmas Decoration Lottery!!  The store manager comes out and actually CONGRATULATES me on my purchase.

Manager Lady: Congratulations!!  I'm glad to know it's going to a good home. Take care of it, it's a Major Award and it's Fragilay!!
Me: Thank you!!  I love it so much!! I will take EXCELLENT care of it!!

I take my prize out to the car and lovingly place it where I know it will survive the ride home.

TWH: I'm not even gonna go online and find out how much less I could've gotten this for. I can't believe we paid for this thing.
Me: It's a gift from the Universe!!  And you didn't pay that much for the Leg Lamp. You paid that much for my JOY!! Look at the JOY!!!
TWH: We overpaid. It's times like this I actually miss being poor. Merry Effin' Christmas.

We drove home and I put my Major Award in my living room. Sadly, unless I move the tree, I have no window to display it in. Next year though, I'm finding it a window. Maybe I can re-arrange TB's room...

My Lamp in the store.

How could anyone NOT see the JOY here??


  1. I am so jealous I can't even see straight. Good score!!

  2. TWH & TB keep asking me if I'm gonna leave it up all year or just for the Holidays. I keep telling them I'm not sure. I finally told them "If I decide to leave it up, I will. I love that damn lamp and you two can Suck IT!!". THAT shut 'em up.

  3. hahah! Awesome!! My friend has the mini 20 inch version, and it is her favorite (and most fragilay) Christmas decoration. :) Enjoy!!

  4. I love, love, love the leg lamps! I was very much compelled to by one the other day, but we are on a pretty strict holiday budget. But, maybe I'll have some Christmas money and they will go on deep discount post Christmas?!?!

    Thanks for visiting my blog!

  5. Just be careful that he doesn't "accidentally" knock it over and break it!

    And I hate it when I don't check everyday to see if you posted and then I have to read more than one post in a sitting - because that means that I could of laughed yesterday AND today instead of just today!

  6. I saw the 20" at Walgreens - I could NOT convince Kyle to buy it - I need to take lessons from you on how to get what I want. BWWHAHAHA


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