Sunday, December 11, 2011

I GOT ME A LEG LAMP!!!!

Okay, so. TWH and I go into Walgreen's to get me some more allergy medicine (because we live in South LA and I'm allergic to everything).  I had wandered down the paper goods aisle to see if they had some cutesy Christmas Ziploc bags when I looked up and over a couple of aisles. THEN I SAW IT.  The object I had been coveting in other people's windows for YEARS.  The Leg Lamp.  Now in all honestly, I first saw this little 20 inch tall version and as I was gasping and pointing, I looked to the right and saw the Leg Lamp Motherlode!!  3 feet of beautiful, fishnet clad, stiletto wearing, leg shaped beauty.  I run over to the aisle in awe and wonderment telling TWH "I NEED IT".  TWH looked around for one that was not on display, doesn't see a box and declares "Well, that's the only one. I guess you don't need it after all".  I had other ideas. That lamp was going home with me, dammit.  The following are the conversations between me, TWH, the poor employee I roped into my quest, and (I think) the store manager:

Me: I NEED IT
TWH: They don't HAVE ANOTHER ONE
Me: They have the DISPLAY ONE. I can buy THAT ONE!!
TWH: They won't sell you that.
Me: The hell they won't.

At this point, I walk over to a checkout counter where I wait (im) patiently for the elderly woman in front of me to finish her transaction. When she (finally) leaves, I walk up to the counter.

Me: I need that leg lamp. The BIG ONE!!  I NEED IT!!
Now, at this point, I'm shaking like a small dog who needs to be sedated.
Checker Guy: (Laughs-maybe nervously) Okay, let me see if I can find a box for you and get it down

He wanders (runs) off to the back while I go to stand guard over my lamp because at this point some guy who can't REALLY love this lamp the way I can is eyeballing it and I had to go run him off.

TWH: Is there even a price tag for it. (Looks around) Oh my GOD!! The LITTLE one is 30 DOLLARS??  How much is the big one gonna cost??
Me: I DON'T CARE!! I NEED IT!!
TWH: We're taking this home no matter how much it costs aren't we??
Me: Duh

Checker Guy comes back with a ladder. He climbs up to the top shelf where my lamp lives. He unplugs it and climbs down.  I show great self-restraint by not snatching it from him, clutching it to my chest, and whispering "My Precious" while stroking it lovingly.

Checker Guy: It doesn't have a price tag OR a box but since it's a display item, we can probably give you a discount.
Me: (To TWH) See, we're getting a discount.

We go to the photo counter with Checker Guy. He looks it up, than names a 3 digit price that makes TWH sigh in resignation as he swipes the card. I am doing a happy dance and giggling like a maniac. I just won the Christmas Decoration Lottery!!  The store manager comes out and actually CONGRATULATES me on my purchase.

Manager Lady: Congratulations!!  I'm glad to know it's going to a good home. Take care of it, it's a Major Award and it's Fragilay!!
Me: Thank you!!  I love it so much!! I will take EXCELLENT care of it!!

I take my prize out to the car and lovingly place it where I know it will survive the ride home.

TWH: I'm not even gonna go online and find out how much less I could've gotten this for. I can't believe we paid for this thing.
Me: It's a gift from the Universe!!  And you didn't pay that much for the Leg Lamp. You paid that much for my JOY!! Look at the JOY!!!
TWH: We overpaid. It's times like this I actually miss being poor. Merry Effin' Christmas.

We drove home and I put my Major Award in my living room. Sadly, unless I move the tree, I have no window to display it in. Next year though, I'm finding it a window. Maybe I can re-arrange TB's room...


My Lamp in the store.

How could anyone NOT see the JOY here??

7 comments:

  1. I am so jealous I can't even see straight. Good score!!

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  2. TWH & TB keep asking me if I'm gonna leave it up all year or just for the Holidays. I keep telling them I'm not sure. I finally told them "If I decide to leave it up, I will. I love that damn lamp and you two can Suck IT!!". THAT shut 'em up.

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  3. hahah! Awesome!! My friend has the mini 20 inch version, and it is her favorite (and most fragilay) Christmas decoration. :) Enjoy!!

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  4. I love, love, love the leg lamps! I was very much compelled to by one the other day, but we are on a pretty strict holiday budget. But, maybe I'll have some Christmas money and they will go on deep discount post Christmas?!?!

    Thanks for visiting my blog!

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  5. Just be careful that he doesn't "accidentally" knock it over and break it!

    And I hate it when I don't check everyday to see if you posted and then I have to read more than one post in a sitting - because that means that I could of laughed yesterday AND today instead of just today!

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  6. I saw the 20" at Walgreens - I could NOT convince Kyle to buy it - I need to take lessons from you on how to get what I want. BWWHAHAHA
    JulieU

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