I Just Went & Gussied Up My Blog

Okay, so.  I got tired of my Blog looking so, well, STANDARD.  When I set this thing up, I did it quick, fast, and in a hurry with no thought toward the overall look of the thing.  I just wanted to write a blog. I didn't worry about making it pretty.
In MY opinion, it's pretty now.  Yes, it's pink. It's PINK. PIIIINNNNKKKK!!  Sue me, I like Pink. Besides, how disarming is the word "Fuck" amongst all this Pinkiness??  See??  You didn't even see it coming. Okay, you've been here before so maybe you were looking for it. Maybe it will disarm the Newbies.
Anyways, tell me what you think. Too much??  Too little?? Totally nailed it??
I really wanna know. I won't call you a Fuckwad or anything. I promise.

I Gots Me ANOTHER Award!!

Okay, so. Jo over at The Bright Yellow Balloon up and gave me another award. Now I'll have TWO pins to make up & wear around to attest to my quasi-awesomeness.  You think I'm kidding. I'm totally not. Imma pin them to my Juanita the Weasel apron for the SPQ Big Hat Luncheon later this month. Look for them in the pictures. They'll be on either side of Juanita.

Anyways....   This is the Award Darlin' Jo gave me:



It originated with Ach du Lieber and it's specifically awarded to people who have under 200 followers.  200..... I can't even imagine...
Of course, every Award has RULES (except the one Jo's gonna make. It's gonna be all anti-rules) so here goes:

1: Link back to the Blogger who gave the Award to you.  Check!!
2: Give this Award to five other Bloggers.
3: Post this on your Blog & follow the rules.

That's it!!  Those are ALL the rules!! Woo Hoo!!

First, Edith MyRant.  She is a single Mom, a Derby Girl (which is cool as hell & intimidating all at once) and a fellow Mommy Blogger. What else could you want??

Second My Suitcase Full of Tricks. Ali is a sassy, funny, skinny(but I can totally forgive her for it) Mom who puts herself out there. Amazingly, she does it without swearing. I KNOW!!

Third The Jamie/Jill Big Ass Cooking Project  This girl seems to be cooking up EVERY recipe from The Sweet Potato Queens Big Ass Cookbook (And Financial Planner). How can you go wrong??  Really??

Fourth Oblong Agenda My friend Julie turned me on to her. Her tagline is "A Journal of My Life Because I Can't Remember Shit". How can you NOT read that blog??

Fifth MamaNeeds1 RefillPlease She's on the same teenage daughter funcoaster. She has a sister who's (apparently) the biggest PITA to ever live. She's a wine lover & a photographer. She has more patience than I could EVER muster.

I've gotta say, I don't follow a TON of Blogs. I have no idea what'll happen if I get any more Awards. I'm fast running out of people to pass them on to.  I'm sure I'll think of something.

Thanks again for the love Jo.  I've said this before. You ROCK!!

Alas, Poor Bill

Okay, so. Yesterday my phone chimes indicating a text message. I pick up my phone and see that it's some stupid, spammy text, with nothing but a link. I'm sure it was some magic potion that would make my boobs bigger or my ass smaller but I just wasn't interested. I texted back STOP, like you're supposed to do. Only to have it bounce back as being a "rejected message".  Of course, to my joy and wonderment, there's an EMAIL ADDRESS. Oh yes folks, poor Bill@ **********.net left me with an alternate way to contact him. So I did. The email looked something like this:
To: bill@**********.net
From: ginger@*********.net

Subject: Leave Me the Fuck Alone!!!!

The body of the text read simply: I believe the subject line says it all.

As an added precaution, I also sent ANOTHER text that read Do. Not. Ever. Fucking. Text. Me. AGAIN!!!

That text didn't get sent back. Surprisingly.

Winning at alienating spammy texters.

The Simple Answer Is the Answer I Never Consider

Okay, so. My phone was acting all crazy the other day. Nothing would load. It was running slow. I was hating it. I complained about it to TWH via text and he told me he's look at it at lunch.

We get to lunch & I'm showing TWH my phone. He fiddles with it for a few minutes then gives me the typical Computer Geek line. "Did you turn it off & turn it back on again??"  I, of course, HADN'T tried that. I was too busy complaining about my phone to actually DO anything with it. Obviously.

TWH takes my phone & within a matter of minutes has it working PERFECTLY.  He hands it back to me and I am thrilled.  "What did you do to it??" I ask, in awe of his mad phone repair skills.  "I turned it off & turned it back on again" he says, with (to his credit) a perfectly straight face.

Of course he did...

I Got My FIRST Award!!

Okay, so.  I gots me an AWARD!!  Yep!! To quote Sally Field "You like me!!  You really LIKE me!!"

Anyway http://magicalmysticalmimi.blogspot.com gave me THIS award:



Apparently,  there are RULES with this award.

1. Link back to the person who awarded you this Award.  Done.
2. Follow the blog of the person who gave you this Award. Done.
3. Proudly display this Award on your Blog. Done. (If you can see it. I'm a techno-goob.)
4. List 5 of your Favorite Things (See below)
5. Pass this Award on to 5 fellow Bloggers. (See below some more)

My Favorite Things:

1. My Fambly. They are loveable, funny, and sometimes frustrating, but they are mine and I adore them.
2. My Dawgs. They have covered my ENTIRE LIFE in fur and they bark at nothing a lot but they're my fur babies.
3. Peanut butter & jelly sammiches.  They're the perfect food. Enough said.
4. Cookies.  Nothing makes a crappy day better than just-out-of-the-oven cookies. They're good for the soul.
5. Shoes. Converse sneakers specifically. I LURVE me some Converse!!

My Fellow Bloggers:

1: Jent over at From My Front Porch.  She's a Mom & Farmwife who is completely honest about the state of her house and her idea of a "Vacation".
2: Jo over at The Bright Yellow Balloon.  She's a Mom who talks about her life with candor. I like that.
3: The Crooked Dog Blog.  This Mama took in Little Johnny. A Pittie who had a broken back, two broken back legs, and an unbroken spirit. I love reading about his progress and seeing his life as he grows.
4: Denise over at Adventures of a Jayhawk Mommy. She's a new Mommy with one of the cutest little girls I've ever seen!!
5: Dani over at Facebooking From the Edge. She may well give me a verbal Punch in the Throat for calling her blog "Cute" but I'll be damned if her Blogging about her spastic-ness isn't funny as hell!!
6: I can't help myself here. Kelly over at Excitement on the Side. She's got a new hubby, a new baby, the most level headed 7 year old on the planet and  is honest about her life with all three.

I am totally stalking these women. If you're not, you should,

I'm NOT down with O.P.C.

Okay, so. Here's my (probably not so) dirty little secret. I'm not a fan of Other Peoples Children. Hell, there are days when I'm not that fond of my OWN children. Why in the hell would I like other peoples??  I'm sorry, but I find nothing endearing about the little shit who felt compelled to inform me that what was on the television in the shop was "inappropriate". I, of course, felt compelled to tell him that he wouldn't know if he weren't WATCHING. I could have gleefully tripped the kid who told me my son's Origami Yoda "Doesn't even LOOK like Yoda".  This was after he asked if it WAS a Yoda. Some of the kids I see are entitled. Some are mouthy, others are just downright spoiled assed rotten. And not in the good way.

This is not to say I dislike ALL O.P.C.  There are some I find absolutely delightful that I DIDN'T give birth to. However, they are rare.

I Feel Like Less Today

I feel like less today.  I often feel like less for a lot of different reasons.
I didn't go to college, so I feel like less.
I'm overweight, so I feel like less.
I'm not traditionally "Pretty", so I feel like less.
I'm don't behave like a "Lady" should, so I feel like less.

Today I feel even more less-er than usual.
I feel so small.  I feel so hateful.  I feel so sad.
I feel like less today.
It will pass.
It always does.
But today....
Today I feel like less.