Okay, so. Today after we got back from lunch, T & I were in his truck gathering our things when suddenly, there is a guy on a bicycle giving T his looooonnnnngg sob story about why he needed money. While T is dealing with this, I text one of out cop clients. It went like this:
Me: There's some guy here panhandling.
Cop: Lol. I don't get to work til 2. Go pepper spray him.
Me: Don't give me that kind of permission.
I'll go all crazy white girl with that shit.
Cop: I anoint you. Have fun. Lol.
Me: I'll be a fucking pepper spray ninja!!
Cop: Throw your shears at him like a ninja throwing star!!
Me: Bahahahahahahaha!!
I of course IMMEDIATELY text TWH with the good news.
Me: Cop just gave me permission to defend myself with pepper spray as I felt the need to!!
TWH: O.O
Me: I told him not to tell me that because I'd go all white girl crazy with that shit
TWH: Really?? He told you that??
ME: He said "I anoint you. Have fun." That's how I'm taking it. I now have permission from law enforcement to pepper spray people at will.
TWH: Oh Jesus... I need to have a LONG talk with that man.
ME: You wanna be able to spray people too??
He never texted me back after that.
I'm going to the Police Supply place next Monday and buying myself a CASE of Pepper Spray. That oughta be a good start.
Bring some with you in March - I need me some black market pepper spray.
ReplyDeleteNo, really! LOL
JulieU
I WANT TO BE YOU!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAaaawwww, man, I wanna be Annointed to Pepper Spray At Will! You gonna wear a cape?
ReplyDeleteJulie: It's perfectly legal pepper spray
ReplyDeleteJent: Being me is highly overrated. Really.
Jo: I SHOULD wear a cape!!