Dear Asshole

Okay, so. I work in the Public Service Industry. I cut hair in a small, 2 person shop. Our main clientele are Law Enforcement & Military.  I learned to cut hair on a Marine Corps base so obviously, these kind of haircuts are right up my alley.
Occasionally, we'll get someone in who is, well, a Complete Asshole. You know the type. Someone who, for whatever reason, has deemed themselves "above" just about everyone else. They're overly educated. They have money. They're really, really good looking (and have yet to discover there's more to life than being that). Whatever. They're a jerk of the highest order.
We have one such client. He's an officer in the military. He walks in, grabs a bunch of magazines (or half the paper, whether there's a full shop or not) sits in the chair and makes it abundantly clear that he is in no way, shape, or form going to hold a conversation with you.
The following is my letter to this guy and ALL of his ilk.

Dear Colossal Asshole,

 While we appreciate your business and whatever business you've sent our way over the years, you do not have to be such a Total Dick.
  I can assure you that neither T or I are under-educated morons who cut hair simply because we were too lazy or stupid to find other means of employment.
  As a matter of fact, I am relatively certain that if you ever bothered to actually TALK to one of us instead of suffering what you perceive to be our blatant stupidity in silence, you might find out that we both have higher than average IQ's and can talk about a wide range of subjects.
  I am truly sorry you have to suffer the Human Race daily and that it's such an obvious burden. I am acutely aware of the jackassery and dumbfuckery that people commit daily.
  I am a barber.
  I have to see Fuckwads like you.
  Unlike you, I choose not to let the bastards get me down.
  Perhaps you could start slowly. Be nice to the people who do shit for you.
  It may change your life.

OR keep being an Asshole.

Your choice.

Sincerely,
Me