Friday, April 20, 2012

I Suck at Twitter. Apparently.

Okay, so. I was at lunch with TWH today when this teenage girl walks in with her Health Class/Sex Ed "Baby". She was holding it all wonky-like.  No real Mom could have EVER held her baby like that. I, of course, jump on Twitter and report "At lunch watching a teen girl fail the Mommy Test. Abysmally." Followed by "It's like a horror show you can't NOT watch".  I didn't Tweet any follow-up information. Thus prompting some of my FB friends to respond with a mixture of horror & concern.
In order to lay everyone's fears to rest here's what happened:

I'm sitting in a booth at lunch. It was a banquette seat and the women next to me had piled all their shit right where I needed to slide in to my spot. I totally rubbed my ass all over their purses. I say it's their fault for not moving it and will maintain that opinion until I DIE.

I'm chatting with TWH & look up to see a VERY young mom walking in with a baby. First I was prepared to hate her because the baby was TINY and so was she. Then I noticed she was carrying her baby in the weirdest & most unsafe manner I'd ever seen. THEN I noticed the baby was plastic. It was a Sex Ed "Baby"!!  Upon arriving at her table the "Mommy" plunks her "Baby" down on the table and sticks a "Bottle" in it's mouth while she whipped out her phone and began texting. Probably about the crazy woman that was staring at her and trying to take her picture surreptitiously over the booth behind her.
No, I didn't get the picture. Dammit.

I can only guess that this girl is gonna get a crappy grade on this project.
I also hope she has no immediate plans for procreation.
Like I said in response to my friend Stacey O. "If that "Baby" had been the raw egg WE got in High School, it'd have been an omelet by now".
Poor little plastic "Baby". She's gonna grow up to be a Methhead/Hooker Barbie because of her shitty infancy.


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