Monday, March 12, 2012

My Vanity Knows No Bounds

Okay, so. This weekend, I cleaned out the cabinets & drawers in my bathroom. It started because TWH got water all over everything under his cabinet so I started pulling stuff out, drying it off, and throwing shit away. As with most projects like that, I can't leave it half done. That and my side looked like an episode of Hoarders. Junk & mess everywhere.  I go through those cabinets and show no mercy. I throw out shit I haven't used in months or am never gonna use.  You oughta see all the room I have in those cabinets & drawers now!!
I digress...
Today, I decide I'm going to bleach my teeth. I haven't done it in awhile and the SPQ Parade (my own personal Christmas) is coming up in TEN DAYS(insert squeals of excitement & glee here) so I need to get my smile all prettified.  I go to my (newly tidied) cabinet & get out my bleach stuff. I open my (newly purged) drawer to get out my bleach trays and they're GONE!!  G-O-N-E!!  Aaaaaauuuuugggghhhhh!!  I threw them out!!  Now I held them in my hand for a second as I was purging Saturday but for some reason I thought they were the clear retainers I'd gotten right after my braces came off so out they went.  I immediately dumped the garbage can in the bathroom out in the vain hope that they would be in ther but NOOOOOO.  They're in the big garbage bag TWH threw out mid-purge. They're out in the pollen & rain covered garbage can under the carport.
Where else would they be??
I ran outside, threw open the lid & dug through that can like a raccoon looking for some leftover chicken.
These are my BLEACH TRAYS people!!  I need this shit!! Not to mention that they're not cheap, require a visit to the dentist for molds, and take two weeks to get here. I don't have two weeks!!
I found them. Luckily they were in the bag that was on top. Right there in their little protective case. Which, thankfully, was still closed.
I ran inside, scrubbed everything with hot water, soap, toothpaste, peroxide, & rubbing alcohol then thoroughly dried it all.
Yes, I am using them. They're in my face right now. Like I said, my vanity knows no bounds.


  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Soooooo me!!! I have done the exact same thing and have horrified my family. Good for you! What's next? Dumpster diving?? If so, take pics! :D

  2. Mimi, unless I lose something really important in a dumpster I'll stick to my own backyard!! Lol!!

  3. This is a perfectly acceptable and understandable instance of trash retrieval. It's not like the part you put in your mouth even touched the trash!

  4. Hehehe I could totally picture you digging like a racoon. Awesome. Hope the choppers are nice and shiny bright!

    1. It was actually pointed out to me this weekend that my teeth glow under a blacklight. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.


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