Monday, August 13, 2012

50 Shades of BFD

Okay, so. I know I'm late to the book porn party but I FINALLY started reading 50 Shades of Grey.  I had avoided reading it simply BECAUSE everyone else was.  Everyone was also talking about it nonstop so I almost felt like I didn't have to read it. I had a pretty good handle on it.

My hairdresser read this book on her cruise and foisted her copy off on me while gushing about how awesome it was.  You guys, my first book porn was Ann Rice's* Sleeping Beauty when I was 19. I found it stuffed in the backseat of a used car the guy I was dating at the time had just purchased.  Never one to pass up a free book (or any book, really) I dove right in.

50 Shades ain't* Sleeping Beauty.  This isn't even close.

The book sat on my counter for 2 days mocking me before I sighed in resignation and began reading it.  Almost 100 pages in, TWH asked me how I liked it.  My response was "So far, it's 50 Shades of Big Fucking Deal".  His response "Oh..."

I think he may be waiting for the porn part to kick in.

I can't believe how unrealistically Ana is written.  Never masturbated??  Really??

I'm going to finish this book.  One of my quirks is that I can NOT put a book down unfinished. I will hold on to the thought that it will get better until the very end when I have a total "What the HELL??  That's it??  I spent DAYS reading this book and it sucked from beginning to end??  Sonofabitch!!" moment.

It could always get better...  Right??  RIGHT!?!?


* Ann Rice wrote the Sleeping Beauty trilogy under the name A.N. Roquelaire. (Spelling??)

*Yes, I used Ain't.  I'm Southern. I only use that word to indicate extreme derision. It is NOT part of my daily vocabulary.

8 comments:

  1. Well, I ain't going to waste my time reading 50 Shades - there are too many good books right in my veryown liberry that are waiting patiently for me.
    The whole story sounded like it would be stupid and I hear the writing is horrible.
    So, no thanks. I usually finish a book even if it's bad, but I have quit a few because they were horribly bad. Then I feel guilty about it, but if I finish it I'm ticked off that I wasted my time reading crap.

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  2. I know, right? I can't believe how many people told me how awesome and wonderful this book was....what are they usually reading? Even if you want to read porn there are sooooooo many better choices. I have to say that I too crumbled under peer pressure and read the damn thing. Honestly, the sex got a little bit boring, and I started skipping it to get to the end. A big fat yuck!

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  3. Nothin wrong with ain't. Less you're at work. I do that too, keep watchin or readin, never givin up, even tho it sucks. I wonder why. I don't have a direct link to you. So I'm glad you tweeted.

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  4. Skip the book, I am reading it and reporting on it in my blog....just saying, but yeah it does really suck.

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    1. Kevin, I am totally following your 50 Shades review. At this point, I'm reading it because I can NOT put a book down unfinished.

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  5. I haven't purchased or borrowed it either for the same reason I just don't like to do what everybody else is doing & blah blah blah about it, my porn is snoring in the living room right now..... Yay baby I got it like that LOL but please do tell if it ever does get worth the reading time.

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  6. I have no intentions of reading this book, mostly because everyone has talked it to death, and I hate knowing every little detail about a book or a movie, it ruins it for me. The story sounds ridiculous and everyone says the writing sucks, so I will pass on this one.

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  7. Haven't read it, but heard it was horribly written. But a few people I know who have relatively high IQs liked it....so. Who the hell knows. Did it get any better?

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