Okay, so. I am not athletic. Every attempt at sports I have tried over the last decade or so has landed me in the ER with some God-awful injury or other. I am also not a whiner. I am, however, the happiest ER patient you will ever, EVER meet. I am a giggler.
I will enter the ER/Dr's office making quips & jokes about EVERYTHING and laughing at my own funny. Poor TWH has had to explain to any number of Physicians & staff that I am NOT high, nor did I recieve any type of head injury. That is my coping skill. I laugh. I laugh because for some reason, it never occurs to me to cry.
I tell you this as a lead in to THIS.
My mutha-flippin' big toenail is about to come off. It has become a sacrifice to the renovation Gods. I have NO idea when I actually broke the toenail. I noticed it last Saturday when I got out of the shower. I was applying lotion when I noticed something was "Off" about my big toe. I bent over for a closer look and noticed it was crooked so I pushed on it.
It. Moved.
I absolutely lost my shit. I started yelling for TWH who came running into the bedroom to find me giggling and babbling about my toenail.
(Side note: This is # 3 on the List of Things That Will Freak Me the Hell Out. #1: Spiders #2: My own blood #3: Partial/Whole loss of a toenail/fingernail.)
TWH has me get on the bed so he can look. I lay down with a pillow over my head giggling hysterically and trying to be at least 6 inches taller than I actually am so as to put MORE distance between my head & my foot. It was awful.
T wanted a look too so yesterday I took off the THREE Band-Aids that are holding my toenail on & showed him.
Oh. My. GAWD!! He was fascinated with that shit!! He kept trying to fiddle with it until I was SCREAMING with hysterical laughter, sweating, & shaking.
It wasn't pretty.
Now I'm afraid the nail has FINALLY come all the way off. I think the Band-Aids are ALL that's holding it on. I'm terrified of taking the Band-Aids off. Leaving them on until the sticky just gives out is okay right??
RIGHT!?!
I may have to be sedated.
BWWWAHAAH
ReplyDeleteI wasn't giggling when mine bit the dust - I don't even know how I bruised it. It's only taken about 6 months to grow almost back.
Ouch - take off the band aids and let it grow.
It's gotta finish falling off first!! 6 months to grow back?? UGH!!
DeleteI am a huge chicken when it comes to injuries I would have it covered with 10 bandaids and wear a sock just so I wouldn't accidentally see it cover all the way off ewww. I wish I was a giggler I am a cryer boo hoo cryer then fainter. Good luck with the toenail ewww
ReplyDeleteJanice, that's partly what the Band-Aids are for. I keep hoping I'll go to change them one day & it will just fall off. Then maybe the resulting freak-out won't be as bad.
DeleteAt least you giggle when you get hurt when I was a kid it was nervous response to others getting hurt-one time my sister fell on her head off the monkey bars and I couldn't stop laughing enough to go get my Mom - yeah haven't lived that down yet!
ReplyDeleteOh and just to freak you out my pinke toenails (yes both of them) fall off randomly!!!!!!!
Oh, I giggle when other people get hurt too. I just laugh MORE when it's me.
DeleteI don't know if I'd freak out as bad if it were the pinkie toenail. They're tiny. If they just fell off completely without any warning I'd probably just be all "Huh".
That IS odd though.. :)