Okay, so. I am not athletic. Every attempt at sports I have tried over the last decade or so has landed me in the ER with some God-awful injury or other. I am also not a whiner. I am, however, the happiest ER patient you will ever, EVER meet. I am a giggler.
I will enter the ER/Dr's office making quips & jokes about EVERYTHING and laughing at my own funny. Poor TWH has had to explain to any number of Physicians & staff that I am NOT high, nor did I recieve any type of head injury. That is my coping skill. I laugh. I laugh because for some reason, it never occurs to me to cry.
I tell you this as a lead in to THIS.
My mutha-flippin' big toenail is about to come off. It has become a sacrifice to the renovation Gods. I have NO idea when I actually broke the toenail. I noticed it last Saturday when I got out of the shower. I was applying lotion when I noticed something was "Off" about my big toe. I bent over for a closer look and noticed it was crooked so I pushed on it.
I absolutely lost my shit. I started yelling for TWH who came running into the bedroom to find me giggling and babbling about my toenail.
(Side note: This is # 3 on the List of Things That Will Freak Me the Hell Out. #1: Spiders #2: My own blood #3: Partial/Whole loss of a toenail/fingernail.)
TWH has me get on the bed so he can look. I lay down with a pillow over my head giggling hysterically and trying to be at least 6 inches taller than I actually am so as to put MORE distance between my head & my foot. It was awful.
T wanted a look too so yesterday I took off the THREE Band-Aids that are holding my toenail on & showed him.
Oh. My. GAWD!! He was fascinated with that shit!! He kept trying to fiddle with it until I was SCREAMING with hysterical laughter, sweating, & shaking.
It wasn't pretty.
Now I'm afraid the nail has FINALLY come all the way off. I think the Band-Aids are ALL that's holding it on. I'm terrified of taking the Band-Aids off. Leaving them on until the sticky just gives out is okay right??
I may have to be sedated.