Thursday, August 25, 2011

My Work Husband is Mentally Lazy

Okay, so. I work in a two-man shop. It's just Troy (TWH has dubbed him my Work Husband) & I. Together. ALL DAY. I often tell Troy "It's a good thing you're cute!!". This is not to say, or even imply that he's stupid. He's far from it. He's a whiz with numbers, can remember all kinds of Boxing stats, is super-handy, and can tell you just about anything about any gun or car.  He's just Mentally Lazy. For example, he actually asked the shop at large once "What day is Cinco De Mayo ON anyways??". He mispronounces words regularly and WILL NOT bother to use the correct pronunciation after I tell him. He insists on pronouncing Sudoku "Zoodokoo" and I cannot even bring myself to eat in the local Chinese Restaurant because he so badly mangled the name. (Crouching Dragon = CROTCHING Dragon).  We watched LOST for all 7 seasons and by the 7th season I was so glad the damn show went off the air because I would have to watch the week's episode, practically take notes, then explain the episode IN MINUTE DETAIL to Troy the next day.  He regularly referred to his Grandmother's being Diabetic as her "Having the Sugar Diabetes". I finally cured him of THIS particular phraseology by asking him if he categorized it that way so as to differentiate it from the BACON Diabetes. It worked.  Anyways, Troy likes to bring movies in the shop for us to watch when we're slow. While I appreciate the effort, his taste in movies borders on horrifying. He picks based on title (if he's heard of it), actors (usually their lesser, crappier works), or (I shit you not) the Cover Art. These are usually a lesser form of hell. Occasionally, we get a movie (like the one this week) that is well known but a TOTAL DUD. It's plot is lackluster, the acting is mediocre, and I would love to do anything BUT watch it. Except Troy is engrossed and needs some stuff gone over for clarification. Part of me wanted to tell him "I'm not watching, I don't know, and I don't give a rat's ass." but that would have hurt his feelings and he would have sulked for the rest of the day. Part of me wanted to pull a theory or two out of my ass just to confuse him, but THAT would have hurt his feelings and he would have sulked for the rest of the day.  I couldn't win for losing.  Mental Laziness is an actual affliction. I suffer from it daily.  Troy, however seems completely unaffected...

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