Okay, so. We're kinda rural where I live so The Boy takes the bus to school every day. The following is what happened THIS particular morning.
Me: (To TB) Hey, you need to get your shoes on & get ready to go outside & wait for the bus.
TB: It's only 7:08. The bus doesn't come until 7:30. I still have, like, 10 whole minutes.
Me: Get your shoes on anyways. It's gonna take you until 7:15 to do that. (He's kind of a slow-poke)
7:12 I hear a bus come by our house with a blue pickup truck riding it's ass & honking like nobody's business
Me: Son, I think that's your bus
TB: Does it have *particular number* on it??
Me: Yeah, you can catch it on it's second pass. Oh, wait you can probably catch it now while the woman in the blue truck that's parked behind it is cussing out the bus driver. You might wanna hurry though, it looks like she's winding down (Yes, we live in the rural South, in a Parish known for two things: Meth & TEEF, & people WILL pull the bus over to cuss out the driver. We live in a City with less Meth & TEEF & more good schools BTW)
TB takes off across the front yard & gets to the bus JUST AS IT'S BEGINNING TO PULL AWAY. So he's now RUNNING ALONGSIDE the bus and blue truck lady is yelling & cussing all over again until the bus driver noticed my Darling Boy Child and stopped, AGAIN, to let him on.
Guess what phrase he's gonna hear when he gets home this afternoon?? You bet your ass!! I'm petty like that...